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Saturday 7 July 2007

Lovely July, without feeling so Lovely

Hmmm, selamat datang hari Sabtu, weekend untuk orang-orang kantoran, but not for me. There’s no really differences about the days for me. It’s just about the name.

there are the activities, teaching and teaching and teaching.

that’s the activity, teaching and teaching and teaching.

yes that’s also the activity, teaching and teaching and teaching.

well sounds like new activity, broadcasting and broadcasting.

Friday, hmmm just that’s the activity, broadcasting and teaching and broadcasting.

(I think I need much more capuccino to make it as higher as possible F-r-i-d-a-y!)

Saturday, what’s my activity? Should I go teaching or broadcasting again?

Yes I should, because that’s called as LIFE!

As I must face it as a real new fun and nice and slow like e-waltz?

Neyaaaah, I prefer to go swinging ehehehehe sounds like Mocca song?

Yes it is. It is a real new and fun activity, named M-E-E-T-I-N-G.

Interesting, huh? Along this week, I myself drained me by those kinds of meeting which sometimes drive me crazy! Pyuwh, not because of I don’t like to come to the interesting-fun-nice-happy MeetiNg. But it is much more because of some people inside really make me dizzy and want to go out soon! Different meetings mean some crazy people!

HUH, I hate to talk about GO OUT!

It reminds me of a really hurt case of breaking promise then made me have to face a fact, that I must let him go out for the second. It is just about feeling. Yeah, it’s really just about feeling. I am too stupid to let me play and coy as I am the one in Buble’s song, yeaaa that Everything!

Absolutely I AM NOT! That was NOT ME, and IS NOT ME!

Yeaa, maybe what my friend has told me is correct. A hundred percent correct and undeniable. We are different, so we can’t go to be ONE. We do really need to go out. I am so in pathetic condition. Why should always be like this? Am I really rejected? Am I really unintended? Am I really non-expected one from the one I expect so much? Or am I really made invisible to the one’s heart? Or am I too complicated to accept as not-only-friend-nothing-special? Should I be ‘friend only but nothing special’ of the only? Hooooh, there’s a really really BIG WALL lay in front of US to be ONE. It is a real IMPOSSIBLE and OUT OF MIND to do to be ONE! Too impossible.

Me? Absolutely I’m willing to stay on mine. Him? Absolutely He’s willing to stay on his. It is a real useless f**in’ fantasy to dream. and leaving it will be better.

Can I? May I? No, you MAY NOT. I won’t let you go out, even just one pace! Off course I never have ability of letting you GO OUT. Just for your information, that I am nothing comparing to HIM, the greatest decision maker. HE has decided it to me and I must take it for granted. Crying out loud, pretending to be tough, repenting on a real unimportant and ineffaceable and ineffable and really unspeakable case! Just sending some trash messages to the trash numbers! Crying then laughing when I read messages of priceless number of one FRIEND! Thank you for sending those messages, friend. I am really lucky for having such nice friend as you. It makes me think everyday that it was not an accidental bump when HE made us as roommate! I do love you coz of HIM.

Well, it is still really LOVELY JULY.

Moreover, hey look at the date today. It is really nice, huh? 07.07.07 hmmm, I must have got something important and valuable today! Sure, I’ll try to. And now let me sleeping and dreaming about much more important case than the real useless f**in’ fantasy to dream!

Happy sleeping…

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