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Saturday 11 August 2007

No Application Letter, but CONFUSE!

I do not need to make any application letter, and I am not STUCK or LOOK or FEEL or STAY or PLAY any GAMES, but I get confused about so many places to put myself in!

The first and the only place that I WILL NEVER leave it till the time comes is beloved Radio Station where I grew my hobby *is it hobby, to broadcast?* and I could share my idea and sometimes blank opinion without any preparation but still had some listeners, even LOYAL listeners!

The second place, *that recently made me a bit disappointed and consists of ‘that creature’ who now has implemented my priceless idea into HER family COMPANY* is, yeaaa that place. I will not mention the name. Hmm, I am considering leaving it, step by step. Absolutely I also WILL NOT soon leave it, because the memory of being ‘attacked’ still exists in heart. I need time to do. Besides also my students still need me to be loved *oh yeas, they love me, as I love them*.

The third place that I CAN’T leave is my beloved SCHOOL *the place where I had, and have so many memories, almost in every room!*. Now, I am not the student anymore, but I am the friend of the students. I can’t say that I am the teacher, because I do not deserve to be called as a teacher there. I am still blue about teaching them *who sometimes still call me ‘kakak’, but some call me ‘ibu’ (hooowh, I have told them not to call me ‘ibu’ because I am not an ‘ibu-ibu’ yet!*. Absolutely, I can’t leave my school eventhough there’s no black white document to be signed. I think, I do not need that, because I know exactly what should I do and how should I treat my students, by supervising from my beloved teachers there. They love me much, as I do love them much.

The forth place that I NEVER have any stupid though to leave it is MUCELL. It’s the most prestigious place for me, because I find ‘UNIVERSITY’ titled inside the name. Imagine, a university student *who has not finished her study yet*, dares to be the tutor *is it tutor? Not instructor yet, I think* for UNIVERSITY students, even for some lecturers of the UNIVERSITY! Blebh… I am sinking, sinking in my confusing and my confidence. Haha, am I too much having this confidence? Or am I too *a bit narciss, no problem yes? It’s my own pages, OK!*, recommended and energetic and urgently required? Heheh, too narciss sometimes can make me snobbish. STOP THAT. In conclusion, I will not do silly thing like leaving the beloved Learning Centre will be. It’s one of my ambitions to be one of the staffs in Learning Centre.

The fifth place, which recently I join, is also my dream place to join with. How come I leave the place where I want to be there? This place is also a bit prestigious, and the most important is BETTER than the second place. It will be so much impolite if I leave the place where I just come into it, while I am still in training process. And how much I will repent myself if I leave it? It’s my next pace to have better carrer than before; Allah gives me the way, to be better. Hopefully it will be for dunniya wal akhirat.

So, what would happen next? Will I come along for five? Will I have them all? One thing for sure, it’s so impossible for me to work in five different places, while I just only have ONE BODY. But, if every night Everything of Buble always accompanies me, I think it can be possible for me to re-schedule and check, then make sure that I am not gonna ‘die’ and ‘sink’ into my confusedness.

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