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Saturday 11 August 2007

How dare ME!

I do wanna cry, NOW! I talked with him, really asked him to talk with me! He talked with me, even just for not more than a couple minutes! How dare I was! Who do I think I am? Astaghfirullah… And one thing that I can’t forget is: he asnwered me just like he *another he* replied my question.

“Would you please to share with me about………? *different case, but in one point is same purpose – yea to ask him share longer*.

“Pleasure, anytime” *directly, EQUAL, no difference, that was also the answer when I asked him to share with*.

Then, ladies and gentlemen, it happened again! A few hours ago, it happened, just now, just few hours ago!

I promise myself, to not let myself hurt just in a second. The last time is enough, about someone whom I hope to say no, but I cried when he EVEN didn’t say NO and didn’t say YES! That was when I hoped him to reject, to decline, to give me no response at all, and even at the same time, I also hoped him to share with, someone like him. (and now I am listening Buble, ooh makes me wanna cry, but what for?).

Today, I forget him without pretending that I am STILL a woman who NEEDS someone like him to be with me. Succesfully, step by step I unleash that feeling from my stupid thought and mind. Until today, I am forced myself to admit that I find one, someone like him whom I hope *also, and again – same wish* to reject, no giving response at all.

Maybe, I do not need to hope so about his *both response and declines*, as long as I do not make any request like I did to another him.

Enough about them, I think. I have promised myself not to be sad in every month, with or without lovely July. Just let the time acts, and I am still loyal to Buble, about his Everything. I am waiting to be Everything, of him or him, or the other him.

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